Isn’t it weird how we all know the basics of self-care—but we still have so much resistance to it?
I remember working with my client Beth* to build better self-care habits into her lifestyle. We started with just two changes:
➡️ A “no excuses” 10-minute workout 3x a week.
➡️ Healthier meal-planning.
Even though these were small changes, her resistance still popped up right away. “I don’t have time for all this!” she protested.
Isn’t it funny? We all give the same excuse.
Time is almost never the real issue. So what’s going on?
Stress, the Self-Care Killer
Beth used to eat well and exercise on a regular basis. Yet, by the time she came to me, she hadn’t touched her exercise bike in months and her cabinets were full of junk food.
It wasn’t the amount of hours in a day that changed; it was her stress levels.
Her leadership role has become increasingly more challenging, and her stress had spiraled out of control as a result.
When we’re stressed, even the easy things become difficult. The crushing overwhelm makes us feel like we don’t have enough time or energy for self-care.
For example…
➡️ You’re busy… so you stop exercising as often.
➡️ You’re low on energy… so you start eating more junk food.
➡️ You’re short on patience…. so you start snapping at your team.
The problem is, these bad habits only feed your stress more, trapping you in a downward spiral.
Renewing Your Energy
When stuck in a state of chronic stress, the biggest priority is renewing your energy.
Just as you can’t pour from an empty cup, you can’t lead from a place of exhaustion.
Energy renewal looks different for everyone. For example, I need social connection to feel whole. It also helps when I make time to be creative. Things like spending time with friends or doing something artistic help replenish my energy.
For others, it might be getting outdoors, working out, playing games, or meditating. There’s no wrong answer here, so pay attention and notice what works for you.
The other key to renewing your energy is making time for a self-care routine. Like Beth, you can start with just a 10-minute workout or similar small commitments.
Small changes can make large impacts. For example, shortly after she started exercising and eating healthier, Beth realized that her brain fog had mostly lifted. She was making better decisions and wasn’t snapping at her teammates, lifting the mood at the office.
Putting It Into Practice:
Self-care starts from a place of self-awareness, so it’s a good idea to start by looking at your current wellbeing.
- Evaluate the current state of your self-care. Are you sleeping well? Are you eating a healthy, nutritious diet? Are you moving your body? Are you taking enough time to renew your energy on a regular basis?
- Evaluate your stress levels at work. Is stress keeping you in a state where you aren’t making the best decisions? Does your brain feel fuzzy due to stress? Are you snapping at your team because of that stress? Can you sense that your team is walking on eggshells around you?
- Commit to one small change in your habits that could reduce your stress. Start small and celebrate your success before trying to add more to your routine.
- Commit to one small change in your habits to replenish your energy. This will protect you from trying to lead from a place of exhaustion, and will help you maintain positive energy around your team.
When you take time to fill your own cup, you’ll have more to give to others in your life. You, your family, your teammates, and your organization will all benefit when you prioritize self-care.