Who’s Driving the Bus?

Whos-Driving-the-Bus

Listening to Your Inner Voices

Maybe some people have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other…

But for me, it’s more like a bus packed full of all of the facets of my personality…and they’re all fighting for the driver’s seat.

I might feel anxious or worried sometimes, but if I let the anxious/worried part of me drive the bus for too long, I’m going to end up in an emotional ditch! I like to have fun and be carefree, but if I let the carefree part of me drive the bus for too long, I’m going to end up with a second mortgage and no job. My Inner Critic holds me to high standards, but if it gets behind the wheel for too long, I’m going to end up in a perpetual grind with “never good enough” as my reward.

Maybe your bus isn’t quite as chaotic as mine. But regardless, different parts of your personality come to the forefront at different moments in your life and influence how you lead and make decisions. 

At some point we all have to ask ourselves, “Who’s driving the bus?”

Inner Voices: How We Process Thoughts

How do thoughts take shape in your mind? 

For most of us, we experience thoughts verbally. Maybe you’re sitting down at your desk when you suddenly realize, “Oh, I forgot to grab my coffee.” Or, if you hear thoughts in the second person, it might be, “You forgot to grab your coffee.”

Regardless, the thought comes in the form of inner speech.
The way we process inner speech varies widely. I am definitely an ‘inner dialogue’ type. I hear a full-blown conversation in my head most of the time. Often, it’s like there’s a committee meeting happening up there! You might relate it to the movie Inside Out, where emotions are personified as characters sitting at a control panel in your mind.

But not everyone processes thoughts that way. Some people have an inner monologue instead, where a single voice narrates. You can also think of this as your stream of consciousness. Meanwhile, some people have anendophasia—meaning they process thought without any inner dialogue or monologue.

Your Bus: Who’s Driving?

Inner voices come into play when we look at the opening metaphor: a bus, with all of the versions of your personality itching to seize the driver’s seat.

Some of my ‘bus’ passengers include:

  • The version of me that’s courageous
  • The version of me that avoids conflict
  • The version of me that’s outgoing and extroverted
  • The version of me that’s logical and sensible
  • The version of me that always wants to be in control and gets a little freaked out when I’m not!

If we can start to tease apart these different personalities that live inside us, we can start to understand ourselves better and be more effective.

For example, when a situation goes south, one of my voices says, “Oh no, this is terrible. We don’t know what’s happening right now. We need to fix things, fast.” That’s the controlling side of me getting freaked out.

But another voice says, “Calm down. You know what to do. Think through the situation and look for the best outcome.” That’s my logical and sensible side.

These are both integral parts of my personality, and they aren’t going away. But when both voices are speaking, it’s possible to choose which one to listen to.

Guess which one I want to drive the bus when I’m in a tight spot?

Putting It Into Practice

As a leader, you might find yourself with a bus-driver that’s not the best fit for the situation. Sometimes it’s your inner critic, which I’ll talk about more next week. Or maybe it’s your most ambitious side, which could blind you to the struggles your teammates are facing. Or it could be your ‘tough’ voice that has built a wall to protect yourself, but could keep from connecting with other people.

While I don’t advise trying to suppress the different voices, you might not want certain ones to take the lead either.

A solid strategy is to put your best self or inner leader in the driver’s seat. The side of you that can drive the bus using your core values as a GPS.

Now you may be thinking, “I have NO IDEA how to do that.”

Good…that means you won’t get bored with my next few emails! Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing more about your Inner Critic, your Inner Champion, and how we can choose which inner voices or thoughts to listen to as we walk through life and leadership.