Two Mindsets for Life’s Hardest Challenges

Life just isn’t fair.

There are days when we get knocked flat and can’t see a way to get back up. A diagnosis. A layoff. A death in the family. A bitter breakup… 

Whatever it is, there’s never enough time and never enough warning. 

But the challenges will always keep coming, whether we’re ready or not. So today I’m sharing two mindset shifts that have made a massive difference in my life. 

They are simple and easy to remember. And that’s important when you are in the struggle.

Mindset Shift #1: Life Is 50/50

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” ~ Epictetus

Whether it’s hitting every red light on your way to an important meeting or getting a tough diagnosis, there will be days you find yourself asking, “Why did this have to happen now? Why did it have to happen to me?”

It’s so easy to slip into victim thinking and start blaming your circumstances or other people. 

But do you notice how powerless you feel when you go there?

It’s not always easy, but I try to practice the mindset that life is 50/50. 

I can expect that some things will go well and some things will go poorly for me. I won’t always win. I won’t always get the biggest piece of the pie. 

When I wake up knowing that lots of things will be outside my control and I might not like the outcomes, I actually feel more powerful, not less. That’s because I bring my focus to what I can control…my thoughts, my words, my behaviors. 

I “win” by embracing the messy parts of life as growth opportunities, rather than fighting against the unfairness of it all. 

Rather than shifting the blame or getting angry, I try to focus on the one thing I can change: myself.

Mindset Shift #2: I’ve Survived So Far

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” ~ Marcus Aurelius

Sometimes moving out of victim thinking isn’t enough. Even if we expect life to be 50/50 and we commit to controlling what we can control, sometimes we still doubt if we can handle the challenges that come our way. 

That’s normal, my friends. Especially for the truly devastating hardships of life. 

That’s when we might be looking for some proof—some shred of evidence that we can do hard things. A voice that whispers, “It’s going to be okay.”

In those moments, I’ve found it’s best to look to the past. You have faced incredible hardships in your life, and you survived. You know that you were victorious because you are still here!

So, when it feels like I just can’t take another step, like this current challenge is enough to reduce me to rubble, I look back and reflect on the strength I found before. That strength is still in me and I can call on it today to fight the current fight. 

Putting It Into Practice

These mindsets might seem simplistic, and that’s the beauty of them.

1. You are not a victim.
2. You are stronger than you realize.

When you remember these two things, you might find you can stand up a little bit taller, even in the face of hardship. 

These two simple mindsets are echoes of the Greek and Roman stoic philosophers, including Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus. If you want to learn more, present-day philosopher Ryan Holliday has collected 50 Rules For Life From The Stoics. Check it out and see what resonates with you.