It had been a busy week and I was playing catch up. I hit “reply” to an email that had been sitting in my inbox for a few days. It wasn’t an urgent message, and I was sure the sender was not sitting around wondering why I hadn’t yet responded.
I started my reply in default mode. “I’m so sorry for my delayed response…” And then I stopped. I’ve been on a mission to help people, especially women, stop apologizing so much. We apologize when it’s not needed. We sprinkle apologies around like it’s magic pixie dust. As a result, our apologies have less meaning. And we continue to heap shame on ourselves one teaspoon at a time with this “never good enough”, messaging.
So, what opening line did I choose instead? “Thank you for your patience. It’s been a crazy week.”
“Sorry” implies self-blame. It’s a mea culpa that communicates, “I was in the wrong and I need to admit my wrongness to make things right.” In contrast, gratitude puts the emphasis on the other person. It shows our appreciation for them. Energetically, “Sorry” is negative and blaming, while “Thank You” is optimistic and gracious.
This does not mean you should never apologize. When you have truly done something to apologize for, by all means, take responsibility for it. Own it. Understand what you did and learn how to avoid doing it again. When you save apologies for when they are warranted, they have more of an impact, both on the giver and the receiver.
What do you think? Where else can you replace “Sorry” with “Thank You”?