Are You Filling Your Life with Big Rocks or Pebbles?

A few weeks ago when I shared about using “Personal Growth Graffiti,” I mentioned my “Big Rocks” list for the quarter. I keep this list on one of the whiteboards in my office, as a constant reminder of my priorities.

You’ve probably heard of the concept of “Big Rocks”. It’s the idea that if we start by prioritizing the big, important stuff, and fit the small stuff around the edges, we can be more effective and make a bigger impact. 

Conversely, if we start by letting the small stuff dominate our time and energy, we run out of both before we get to the really important stuff.

This idea was popularized by Stephen R. Covey in his 1994 book, First Things First. If you need a quick, impactful reminder of the big rocks theory, check out this mid-90’s video of Covey walking an audience member through the exercise of prioritizing the most important things. You’ll get a good laugh out of the 90’s wardrobe and low-res video!

The Challenge: Identifying Your “Big Rocks”

It’s a simple concept. We hear it and we nod along. It makes sense, right?

But here’s what I’ve realized after working with many clients that struggle with priorities: While most leaders understand this concept, many haven’t taken the time to identify what their big rocks are.

And obviously, if we don’t identify the big rocks, we can’t place them in the bucket first. We don’t know what to prioritize.

Recently, I’ve felt this on a very personal level.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by all the demands on my time. Some days, I don’t know what to do first. 

Based on what I’m hearing from many of you, this is a common experience. The small stuff nags for our attention constantly. Everything feels so pressing!

In my efforts to reclaim my time and energy, I realized I had lost sight of my big rocks. I needed to redefine my priorities…and that meant going back to my values.

Getting Started: Back to Core Values

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know I talk a lot about core values. Earlier this year I wrote a short series on mining for core values, which you can read here.

I talk about values a lot because they are the foundation for many of our choices and actions. In this case, our values are what determine our big rocks.

Think about it for a moment.

Your values are a statement of what drives you, what’s most important, and what makes you…you. Unlike morals and ethics, there’s no right and wrong in values. Your values are what’s true for you and no one has the right to question them.

When we’re living in alignment with our values, everything feels a little bit better, like we’re running on greased rails. Life doesn’t necessarily get “magic wand” easy, but it gets easier. It’s like we’re following a unique roadmap that leads to fulfillment and happiness. 

And when we’re living out of alignment with our values, we feel the daily friction. We end up constantly questioning how we’re spending our time. Sometimes when this happens, we don’t even know why things feel so hard. But if we peel back the layers, it might be that we’re making choices that conflict with our values. 

Often, periods of extreme overwhelm fall into this category. When I’m feeling more stressed than fulfilled, I know, “Hey Wendy, you need to get back to your values.”

Putting It Into Practice

So, how do values actually inform your priorities?

Well, this week I’ve been using my values to name a couple of my big rocks for the next three months. Let me give you a couple examples:

➡️ My #1 value is CONNECTION. 

If I think about how I want to prioritize connection over the next three months, it means my big rock is to protect and cherish family time during the coming holidays. 

I want to be fully present and engaged when I’m with my family. That means I also need to be highly efficient in my work, so I can finish what I need to get done before the holidays start.

➡️ My #2 value is IMPACT. 

What is my big rock for this value? 

Well, Thriving Leaders Circle has been my most impactful program during my eight years of coaching. So my big rock is to work towards launching the next cohort in Thriving Leaders Circle next February. I’m in the process of updating the program to be shorter, more focused, and more affordable for 2026. Feedback so far has been excellent. 

Whenever work starts to feel like a slog, I can think back to my values that are driving me. Whenever I start to feel overwhelmed, I can focus on these priorities. This clarity will help me to stay laser focused as we wrap up 2025 and launch 2026.

What’s most important to you? And how do those priorities drive your big rocks? I can’t wait to hear what you do with this.