It’s Not Just Your Inner Critic…
The Other Voices To Watch Out For
I’ve talked a lot about the Inner Critic. But what about the other voices, aside from the Inner Critic, that might be sabotaging you from the inside out?
Early in my coaching career, I encountered the Positive Intelligence program, which helps people identify and manage their inner saboteurs. The program was life-changing for me, and I joined the very first cohort of coaches who were trained and mentored by Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence and the founder of the program!
In the Positive Intelligence framework, the Inner Critic (or the Judge) is considered the universal saboteur. Everyone has one. Our Inner Critic is in the business of judging the self, judging others, and judging circumstances.
But the Inner Critic has some troublesome friends along for the ride. Today I want to introduce you to some of those other voices that might be holding you back.
Beyond the Critic: Nine More Saboteurs
In addition to the Inner Critic, the Positive Intelligence framework identifies nine accomplice saboteurs that might take up residence in your head and limit your potential. We call them “accomplices” because they tend to team up with the Inner Critic to cause havoc.
These saboteurs show up as patterns of thought and behavioral habits that we default to. I think you’ll be able to recognize some of these voices right away, just by reading their names:
- Avoider
- Controller
- Hyper-Achiever
- Hyper-Rational
- Hyper-Vigilant
- Pleaser
- Restless
- Stickler
- Victim
When you say yes to extra work even though you’re already exhausted and overwhelmed, that could be your ‘Pleaser’ talking. When you get caught in the drama of feeling sorry for yourself, that may be the ‘Victim’ talking. When you feel like you always have to be the best, no matter the cost, you might be hearing the ‘Hyper-Achiever’ talking.
These saboteurs can be just as damaging as the Inner Critic, which is why I’m bringing them to your attention today.
Saboteurs and Leadership: Discovering What’s Holding You Back
Saboteurs are tricky to deal with because, just like the Inner Critic, they convince us that they are helpful. But the truth is they ultimately deliver the opposite of what they promise.
I can speak from personal experience about my controller saboteur. It’s an unconscious drive to manage and control… well… everything. It causes me to feel anxious when life inevitably feels out of control.
The controller saboteur in my mind says, “it’s good for me to be in control, so I can make sure things turn out the ‘right’ way”. This saboteur convinces me that other people need or want to be controlled, that I’m doing them a favor by keeping an iron grip on all the details.
Clearly, this is nonsense, but it took a long time for me to recognize what was really happening in my inner dialogue.
As a leader, I learned the hard way that by trying to maintain control, I was robbing others of autonomy and creative license. And I was creating way more work for myself than was necessary.
Ultimately, the promise of the controller saboteur, that it would help me maintain high standards, was a lie. The team’s output (and my mental health) actually suffered when my controller was in charge.
Don’t get me wrong, holding high standards is a good thing! But there’s a difference between challenging others to do great work and putting their every move under your microscope. When I notice that I’m fixating on the small details of another person’s actions, it’s a sure sign that my controller saboteur is flaring up again.
Our saboteurs are a part of our personality, but that doesn’t mean we want to let them drown out the voice of our Inner Leader. We can learn how to recognize them, silence them, and listen to the Inner Leader instead.
Putting It Into Practice
I highly recommend going to the Positive Intelligence website and taking their free assessment to discover your own personal saboteurs. At the end of the assessment, make sure to select the ‘recommended by a coach’ option.
After you finish the assessment, simply input your email for the results. (It’s free, I promise.) Your results will look something like this, with the option to click on each row for a detailed explanation:
Example Saboteurs
If you are interested in learning more about saboteurs and how to conquer them, let me know! I am a certified PQ (Positive Intelligence) Coach, and I can offer the 7-week Positive Intelligence program. It’s not the focus of my business, but when people step forward to do this work, I can make it happen.
Reply to this post if you are interested in learning more. If there’s interest, I can offer a fall group to take the program.